Since this is the last week of my 20s. For some reason, I don’t know why I’m taking it so hard. Maybe because I worked my entire 20s away to start my dream and missed out on fun times. Maybe it’s because I feel like I should be a little further in life itself. I do realize that from where I am now and where I was 10 years ago I know I’m not the same person. Some of the mistakes I made in life that I still sometimes hate myself for I know made me who I am today. But the reason I push myself so hard is the biggest fear in my life is failure.
I grew up in a trailer till 18 with a single mother who sacrificed so much for me to have nice clothes so I didn’t look like a bum. I know where you come from doesn’t define who you are. But I wanted to do big things with my life so I didn’t have to have myself or my future family struggle like my mom did. I don’t expect to be rich. I am fine with just being comfortable in life and never having to worry. So when I fear failing it drives me to the point where I would do anything to succeed. Whether it’s working 90 hours a week or getting side jobs so I can take a pay cut for my employees and bills to get paid first when things get slow.
Life is not meant to be easy. It is a challenge and some days are tougher than others. With every challenge, I gain the opportunity to grow stronger. I can continuously improve what I am capable of achieving. Instead of allowing a challenge to bring me down, I keep pushing forward. I turn each challenge into a lesson that makes me stronger and stronger. I think if you do something every day that scares you thats the way to challenge yourself every day.
I know new doors are opening in my life and a new chapter is starting. I had to make some very very hard decisions. I am sad, excited, and so fearful. But I know that I will continue to work hard and see what the future brings me with the hurdles I will have to jump through. I’m hoping that in the next 10 years, I can say that I made a difference and feel more accomplished. I still feel like I can do better and keep working on myself and continue to improve. Here’s to my 30S